He sat at his desk, staring at his laptop, drumming his fingers along the dulled wooden surface. It was the regular time on the regular day. Before his second finger had time to make its beat for the however-many-times it had been, the familiar tone chirped through the speakers, along with a familiar name on the screen.
“Hey, stranger.” The voice was followed a second later by blocky movement on the screen.
“Arrrr, the internet is being weird again. Give me a mo, Mel.” He tweaked a few settings and spent a second admiring his girlfriend in the small box in the middle of his screen. “Now that’s much better!”
“Definitely. I can see that handsome, sexilicious face of yours.” She smirked and started playing with her hair.
“Right back at you, baby.” The drumming stopped.
“So, let’s get the boring stuff out of the way first. How’s the English spring treating you? I’m missing that rain.”
“You know, it’s actually pretty good for once. Not rained in a few days. You know what it’s like though, the shorts and skirts are already out.”
“I’ve told you to not wear any of my clothes while I’m away!”
“Ugh, you did. Sorry!”
“Tut tut, John Aiden Samuel.”
“Ow, full named? That wasn’t necessary! But I know. So, how’s America treating you?”
“It most definitely was. Same old though. I had another person this week try to correct”, Mel paused, lifting her hands for air quotes, “my ‘incorrect’ sayings. This lot know nothing, I’m telling you.”
“Only another six months to endure though, eh? I bet you’re just loving those ready salted chips!”
“Oooooooo, I hate you!” As they shared a laugh for a second, the atmosphere, such as there ever could be by two people separated by several thousand miles, became quiet and sombre. Mel sighed. “I really miss you. It’s just not the same without you here.”
“I know.” John let his head droop down. “It’s so bloody boring. Why’d you have to be a role model to everyone we know and get them to do placements as well? All I’m left with are my Jammie Dodgers!” The mood had lightened, somewhat.
“Yeah, well…Jammie Dodgers are pretty damn good. Oh, talking about jammie dodgers, I tried introducing Jenny to table tennis.”
“How’d she do?”
“Well you know how you suck at it? Worse.”
“Hey, didn’t I beat you last time?”
“That didn’t count because.”
“Yip. It’s not li…eh? No, I’m on Skype to John…wha? Hang on, did you say fire?”
“Err, uh oh?” John sat attentively, whilst watching Mel swivel around on her chair for about twenty seconds.
“Yeaaaaaaah, definitely a bit uh oh. I’m gonna need to head off. Catch you in the next slot?”
“Then I love you babe.”
“Love you too.” Their smiles hung in the air for a second before that all too familiar and disappointing bloop made the other’s disappear. Their conversation cut-short, John moved slowly to the window to muse on his half-relationship. As he looked out, he saw a person strolling along the road, seemingly taking in all the sights around them. He thought they were obviously drunk, but it got a bit weird when this person had spent a good part of the minute looking directly at his lit-up room. Maybe this person needed help? Well, it was worth asking. He moved through the usually empty house turning on all the lights as he went before taking a breath at the door and then opening it. He stood there, looking at this girl. After a short time, he decided it would be him to break the tension. “Hey. Err, are you alright there? Are you lost? Is everything okay?”
“I told you. Did I not tell you? I totally told you!” Mel’s arms were flapping all over the place.
“You were definitely right.” John was resigned to chuckle.
“But I told you! She was crazy. She went crazy. Crazy!”
“Err, you’re not looking so sane yourself right now.” John mimicked the arm flailing.
“Yes, but I’m pointing it out. I’m allowed to be crazy.” She nodded her head with authority.
“I don’t think it works that way Melody.”
“Pah, well it totally does.” Mel lowered her arms and composed herself once more. “Okay, normal. Sane. Well, sane as ever.”
“The way I love it.”
“Don’t you just know it.” She raised her eyebrow in a mocking sultry way. “So, what happened?”
“Welllllllll.” John stretched his arms in anticipation. “She sent me a text message telling me that I suck…”. Mel tried to cut in, but John anticipated the response, with both of them saying “Which you do” at the same time. “Hey now, just because I do suck doesn’t mean that you can call me it.”
“Uh huh. No sex for you now.” She raised her eyebrows mockingly. John replied in the flattest voice he could muster.
“Oh no. What will I do? I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope” before sloppily slapping himself in the face. He faked a cough before continuing as normal. “Apparently, I led her on and am a manipulative bastard. Actually, that’s not true. She called me a ‘bit of a cunt’.”
“I’m impressed. Though only a bit? You’ve gone soft.”
“Hiyoooooo!” They pretended to high-five each other.
“The thing is, I know you quite well and you’re about as subtle as a brick to the face. She’s a bit of an idiot then, eh?”
“Well I won’t know any more. She doesn’t want to see my face again unless “It is burning in heel with your bitch of a gif.”
“So she was pretty drunk when she sent that then, eh?”
“I’m going to say yes.”
“Figures. Well, I always knew you were a bit of a cunt.” Mel placed particular emphasis on the I. “But then that’s why you’re pretty great.”
“Err, thank you.”
“Anyhow, that episode has been and gone I guess. This place is big enough, I’m sure I won’t bump into her again. Any time soon at least.”
[To the next entry: Greenest Hypocritical]