He tapped the top of his lemonade-filled glass watching to see this next chapter unfold. See, the last time he was in there he saw this guy and a girl talking. Now, it was obvious to him and surely anyone else looking on that they liked each other, but “Damn, they’re really dancing around it…ahem, that was a little too loud.” He took a sip and kept the glass to his mouth for a few seconds after actually drinking anything and looked around to see if anyone took notice of what he said. No, he was in the clear. He reverted his gaze. She kept flicking her hair and he was shuffling his feet nervously. They were just in ear-shot, but he reckoned he could make out everything that was being said. Roughly, anyhow.
“So, are you going to that social in a week?” Twirling her hair again. Classic sign.
“Errm, well, you know, I think I had…well, I do want to go, just not sure if I can.” He’s fishing. Okay.
“Really? Oh…” Drooped head. Let’s see, will she break it out? “I mean I was thinking of going, but I don’t really know anyone else.” Bingo.
“Oh, you mean you were going to go?” Uh-huh. Like you really thought otherwise.
“Well, I was gonna, but…” If he doesn’t cut in soon there’ll…
“Actually, if you’re going to go, it might be worth going.” …nevermind. There we go. Come on, agree to it and let’s get this on!
“Ha, well, yeah. Maybe? I mean, yes.” See that, Mr. Flirter? She’s happy that you want to go. Now, reach in and kiss her. Or don’t. This is a public space. But do something nice!
“I think I can reschedule my difficult work-out regime.” Work-out? No, he definitely didn’t say that.
“Not that you need it. I mean! No, not that I’ve been admiring your body!” Oh, maybe he did. Also, did she just say that or am I trying to make this more interesting? No, she’s redder than the paint on the walls. Huh, well, there you go.
“The feeling is definitely mutual!” Oh you’re kidding me. “Wait, that sounds really bad.” Yes, it does. Now, fix it. For example, say her eyes are the kind you could stare into for hours. That works. I’m sure. “You always look great.” Well, it’s an old favourite, but that smile is definitely a winner. Look, she even looked down and did a mini curtsey. Well ain’t that just darlin’! Wait, when do I speak like that? Urgh, focus brain!
“So, I was thinking about something you just said in that seminar.” Ah, the first sign that they’re actually over 18. This’ll be interesting because they’ll both have obviously paid so much attention to one another. They won’t admit to listening to every word, but you damn well know they both know it. “I liked what you had to say about blah blah blah.” Yeah, I have no care for this.
A girl walked in wearing a very summery red dress and matching hat. She looked around and walked up to our handsome narrator. “Oh, hey Soph!”
“Mr. Danny. What a surprise to see you here!” She took off her hat, shook her hair for that stylish and ever so sexy entrance and took her seat next to Danny, immediately following it up resting her head on his shoulder. “So, whatcha up to?” She tried to work out his gaze and ended up resting on the almost-couple.
“Those two. So the last time I was in here with some of my mates, I noticed they were talking. They clearly dig each other, but look at them!”
“Anything interesting happen then?”
“Well he tried to grab her right breast, specifically, and then she slapped him in the buttocks.”
“I’m inclined to believe absolutely all of what you just said.”
“Why thank you. Anyhow.” They both tilted their heads as it looked like this couple were leaning in to kiss. “No way they do it in public.”
“Tenner they do.”
“Remember the last time we did this? I’m not falling for that one again! Besides…we’re in public.”
“You’re no fun Mr. Danny.”
“Well, maybe not! But look at me quickly changing the subject back onto those two.”
“You did a good job of that too, sweetie.”
“Hey, you got in trouble for it too!”
“This is very true. Okay, so, that was just a hug. That was disappointing. Did they not hug earlier?”
“Soph, they’re one of those strange combinations where they hug a lot, clearly wuv each other, but will not face it head on. Like a truck’s headlights.”
“First of all, we’re re-banning your use of ‘wuv’. Secondly, that’s an awful metaphor.”
“You don’t have me around for my metaphors.” Danny looked down to his trousers, curiously looked a little further down them, then back to Sophie with a wink.
“I wouldn’t look that far down!”
“Oi! We’re making fun of them, not me!”
“Aaaaaanyhow, they wanted to kiss!”
“Well they’re going to ‘that social’ in a week. It won’t happen then.”
“Oh, way to kill the romance Dan.”
“Actually, what if it’s a ruse? What if they’re actually already a couple and they’re just super awkward? I mean, is it that even possible to these amounts of awkwardness?”
“I refuse to accept any couple is that awkward.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Still, we came here for a reason. Pass the menu over.” Sophie leaned forward, picked up the menu and flicked the top of it at Danny’s face. He grabbed the top of it, which was covering his face, then lowered it to reveal a face probably weird to everyone else, but enough to make Sophie break out into a fit of laughter.
“Dan, we’re being worse than they are!”
“Yes, but we’re allowed to Sophie because we actually are a couple.”
Unfortunately for this story, nothing else of interest happened. The almost-couple ordered their food and went to sit on a table out of view from Sophie and Danny forcing them to be creative of their speculation, unsure of whether or not they would find out what did happen. Of course, our actual very lovely narrator and his stunning girlfriend were back in the bar a week later and happened to see this almost-couple again. A little less awkward, but a little more lovely. Now they were holding hands. “Awww.”
“Dan, mouth shut. They’ll notice.”
“Seriously? Look at them. It’s a bit ‘awww’. Besides, we’ve helped them. One couple to another.”
“How have we helped them?”
“I’m buying you a thesaurus for your birthday.”
“I can’t wait!”
“Talking about that, I can’t wait any more. We need to order, I’m hungry.”
[To the next entry: So That’s What You Are]